Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Day 46....DYING!!!!

You know what drives me really crazy, is when someone yells "didn't you hear me????", when you clearly did not hear them.

Today was a freakin exercise marathon.  It was my first day back training with Greg and his crew after being gone for about two weeks.  I was stressing because there has been such a big gap in my work out...suddenly August 26 seems around the corner...I will have regressed so far I'll never get caught up...you know the mental drill.  So I decided to jump right in and ride my bike to the gym.  It is 3.7 miles from my house, so says  my iPhone.  How bad could that be?

O.M.G. I took all busy streets because I could not figure out a more civilized way (I did find an alternative route on the way home...I was highly motivated).  There would be sidewalk on one side of the road, then that would end.  I would have to stop, get off my bike, check traffic and cross over to the other sidewalk.  Stop.  Repeat.  Stop.  Repeat.  Realize the This American Life podcast is no longer playing in my ear.  Realize I have dropped my iPhone along the way.  Stop.  Apply kickstand. (of course I have a kickstand.  I realize the serious bikers do not, but there just is not a good reason not to have a kickstand).  Retrace steps until iPhone is found.  Walk back to bike and continue.

I am less than a quarter mile from the gym, on Dundee Road.  Very busy street.  I had gotten off my bike to cross the road in the middle of the street.  There was a side walk on this side going up a very slight incline.  Getting off the bike was a big mistake.  When I jumped off, I realized my legs were shaking and I was pooped!  I tried to get back on and push off going up the VERY slight incline.  Did not work.  Pushing, pushing, pushing off and I cannot get my fat ass back on the seat.  All in front of heavy traffic on  Dundee Rd.  Totally humiliating.  So, I walked my bike, very cavalierly, like nothing was wrong, up the little hill and was able to get on going down hill.  Thank God!

Did manage to get through my usual routine, including 10 minutes on the StairMaster, with a 40 second break after 5 minutes.  Greg added a new balance exercise that I managed to complete without killing myself.  Caught up with the girls...including Stephanie, my triathlon buddy, who is eons ahead of me in training.  All in all a pretty successful day.  Until I saw my bike and realized i had to fucking ride back home.  Shit!

Luckily on the way home I did figure out how to use side streets, although one of those streets was really a private driveway, but by this point I was exhausted and mean.  If someone even thought of yelling at me because I was on their "no outlet" property, one look at me would have changed their mind.  Just a few blocks from home, I was getting back on my bike after having crossed a busy intersection.  I have to get off my bike and walk across the street if there is traffic.  I am always mesmerized by the serious bikers who have those clip on shoes and manage to sort of hover, not really pedaling, not really stopping, while they wait for the light to change.  I'm definitely not there yet. Anyway, I was remounting (as they say in the biz), and apparently cut off a biker who was coming up on my left.  This brings me back to "didn't you hear me????"  No, I didn't hear you.  If I did hear you, do you think I would have run into your skinny ass??  Of course I'm apologizing repeatedly, the whole time thinking, fuck you and your fancy biking pants too.

I will tell you this though, I need to get real biking shorts/pants, with a significant amount of padding.  I am about one good bike ride away from a labial infarct.




4 comments:

  1. If it makes you feel any better, it could be worse... I read too fast and thought you said you pooped in your pants! Thank God, you were just pooped. Now, doesn't that make today seem like it was awesome!?! ;)

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  2. OMG, you're funny. Good for you for getting right back in there! I can totally relate to the injuries of sitting on a bike seat. no thanks!
    : )
    Brianna

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  3. I NEVER understood the "bike seat" or Scrotal/Perineum Rupture Device. Get yourself a large gel-pad seat. go, grrl...

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