Day 21...Adventures with the sports bra

Today marks 3 weeks on this journey (well actually tomorrow by the time you read this because I am working the night shift at my hospice job).  I can't believe how fast it has gone and I'm actually going to say, out loud, how quickly I feel my body has changed!  I was at physical therapy with Patrick on Saturday and Greg, his therapist and my trainer, told me in his classically direct/blunt way, there was no need for me to be standing around and why didn't I get on the StairMaster and try for 5 minutes. FIVE minutes???  What happened to our deal of increasing by 15 sec increments daily?  I had done 4 min 15 seconds the day before and was still feeling pretty damn proud of myself.  I looked at Patrick, giving him the eye indicating this was an opportune time for a coughing fit...absolutely no cooperation from him.

So without any excuse not to, I got on the damn thing and I swear to god, 5 minutes came and went in no time.  I jumped off the second (literally) the timer hit five minutes.  I could not believe it.  3 weeks ago I could not complete 3 minutes without stopping to breathe and drink.  Each of those minutes feels like a mountain peak...seriously!  I was leaning against the evil machine, basking in my new found glory, when Greg said, "do 5 more".  "Minutes"????  "yes. you can do it. do it".  Much laughter from the ever supportive, empathetic Patrick.  And so I did.  I DID IT!! Five more minutes on the devil spawned machine!  A total of 10 minutes with just the teeniest break in between!

A few statistics:  *Total weight loss for 3 weeks....5 pounds

                      * Grade on the "I Love My Gay Nurse" English paper....A!! Patrick wanted to be sure I  mentioned that.  Apparently the teacher and English class enjoyed the paper and Patrick's gay jokes!

I would like to deviate for just a minute and discuss my sports bra.  I have seen every Oprah show on how to be fitted for a bra, including her game changing episode on sports bras.  She wholeheartedly endorsed the Enell Sports Bra, specifically designed for large breasted women.  I spent half a paycheck and ordered it.  The web page I ordered it on, as well as the packaging, has all kinds of advice and instructions on how to put the bra on, it will feel too tight initially, don't worry it will feel better after a few tries.

I get just a little bit concerned when a bra comes with instructions.  I've been doing this now for about 43 years or so and I think I've got it down.  However, they aren't kidding.  The bra not only needs instructions, but pictures and a VIDEO!!  I watched a video on how to put on a bra and I'm still confused.  This bra is basically a pink straight jacket.  It hooks in the front, which you would think would make things easier.  The instructions, pictures and VIDEO all explain that you start hooking from the bottom up.  Well that's great except for the fact that the bra is designed so god damn tight that my boobs are over flowing and I can't even SEE THE FREAKIN BOTTOM HOOK!  I cannot see over the top of my breasts to locate the bottom hook!  I have tried every position in front of a mirror and finally realized the most helpful position would be to lay on my bed, looking into a mirror suspended from my ceiling...which I do not have.  That was Day 1 of trying on the bra.

Day 2, one week later, I did manage to hook the first hook.  That's as far as I got.  Stay tuned.