Day 12... Advice from Patrick

I realized that posting every day is a bit much.  Pearls of wit and wisdom do not flow from me daily. And anything other than that makes for very boring reading. So there may be times when I'm condensing to spare you incessant  whining.

Random exercise tip: Music REALLY helps.
On tuesday I was on my own to do a 30 minute walk.  I hate walking just for the sake of walking.  I love bike riding because you move fast.  Walking seems soooooo slow even when I'm trying to go fast. So I try to find a place that's interesting to walk.  I went to Lake Glenview and walked around their lakeshore path.  Its 1.5 miles for the loop.  Despite the fact its pretty and there is a lot of wild life, I still spend a significant amount of time looking over my should to see how far I've walked and looking at my watch to see how long I've walked.  I decided to put on my earbuds and listen to music to distract me.  It so worked!!!  However, it is impossible for me to hear music and not sing along or dance.  Luckily it was cold and windy on Tuesday so the people who were subjected to me walking along the lake path singing "I got the moves like Jagger. I've got the moves like Jagger.  I've got the mooooooooves like Jagger", were kept to a minimum.

On an earlier post I wondered what Patrick does when he is frustrated or angry.  He doesn't have the option of eating, or drinking, or slamming a door, or yelling.  So last night I asked him.

"Patrick, I eat when I get frustrated and angry.  What do you do?"

"Nothing"

"Do you get angry and frustrated?"

"No"

"Come on! You never get angry this happenned to you or frustrated that your progress isn't faster?"

"No"

"What are you freakin Buddha?  How can you not feel angry, frustrated, resentful about this? How do you view this? Do you every ask yourself why this happenned to me?"

"No. This is just how it goes...that this happenned.  You can only change your future.  You can't change your past."

Clearly I (Mary Jo) could not believe this is how Patrick is handling his injury and current life.  He never complains and is always wanting to work harder, but I assumed that he had to struggle with frustration if not anything else.  I wondered if Pat was always able to take things in stride or if this is something has learned since his brain surgery.

"Patrick, before you had the brain injury, when you lost a water polo game, or a swim meet, were you just able to shake it off and think 'I'll just do better next time'?"

"No. I would get pissed off."

"What accounts for the difference now?  Why are you able to look at this differently?"

"I don't know why I look at it differently now. I just know that my job is to work as hard as I can now and not worry about what has happenned in the past.  I do get angry when people try to limit my progress or limit me...like you do."

Let me just interject here, I (Mary Jo) do NOT try to limit Patrick.  We have a difference of opinion of what is safe.  Pat prefers to forget that I am a nurse and just keeps me around as his texting bitch.  A real challenge for everyone, is Patrick is 19 years old and is an independent adult.  Most 19 year olds, however, are not making truly life altering decisions about their health care.  Its a constant and really important balance for everyone in Patrick's life to respect his autonamy.

"So you realize Patrick, since Mother Theresa has clearly been reincarnated in your body, it is really hard for me to complain about anything in front of you without feeling really stupid and petty..."

Much laughter at the idea of him making me feel stupid and petty....

I'm going to paraphase the rest of the conversation.  Basically Pat told me that I bitch about everything (so not true) and that its really not that complicated...I can change my current diet and I will lose weight.  Let me just add it is essentially impossible to defend yourself when the person who is telling you this, is blinking it to you.  And I am enough of a bad witch to be annoyed by that.

It is impossible to have the last word with Patrick.